Empathy

The identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives.

I think the only way we can really empathize with another is when we have had similar experiences previously.

Watched two movies last week, Blood Diamond and Babel. Both were good, but I preferred Blood Diamond more, simply because Leo was outstanding. Without going into too much of the plot of both movies, each had something that I totally identified with. The anguish of receiving an overseas phone call from a loved one that unfortunately relayed bad news and totally not being able to do anything to alleviate his suffering. The horror of being in a terrible situation that desperately requires medical attention, but not having access to it because of red tape and the general inadequacies of that foreign country's medical system.

I never would have understood it if I watched these movies 2 months ago. But I do now.

I’ve finally lost it…

My shopping powers that is… Wasn’t around in S’pore during the year-end sales period, meaning I missed my fave Mango sale, missed tons of great year-end bargains as well, and now that tj is feeling better and that my mood is improving too, I’ve set out, to look for pretty clothes/shoes/bags to wear for CNY. But have come miserably short.

Been shopping the whole weekend, 1 hr in Chinatown on Friday, approx 1 hr in Bugis Street on Saturday and 3 hrs in City Plaza (CP) on Sunday. For those in the know, my mum sells clothes to aunties in the weekends, so she gets clothes at wholesale prices from certain shops in CP but alas, my CP trip was very much wasted.

Ok I admit, I’m a cheapskate, so I always go around hunting for cheap stuff, but cheap stuff of good quality is always harder to find, not to mention I don’t really spend much time shopping these days, just drop by, get and go, it’s never about leisurely walks arnd the shopping mall contentedly window-shopping any more. Which then makes it disappointing when I come home empty-handed.

Coupled to that, the lack of exercise and outdoorsy activities mean I’m usually stuck at home (his or mine) mostly sitting down (eating or watching tv) and my spare tyre is growing, which makes clothes even harder to find, cos on top of the cheap and good criteria, the clothing must now also be flattering. Arghz, and the number of weddings coming up also means I have to get stuff to wear for them too!

I need to get out more…

Better Together - Jack Johnson

There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song that I could sing
But I can try for your heart
our dreams, and they are made out of real things
like a shoebox of photographs
with sepia-toned loving
Love is the answer
at least for most of the questions in my heart
Why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together

Mmmm, It's always better when we're together
Yeah we'll look at the stars when we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah it's always better when we're together

And all of these moments
just might find their way into my dreams tonight,
But I know that they’ll be gone
when the morning light sings
and brings new things
for tomorrow night you see
that they’ll be gone too,
too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find their way
into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression
i was somewhere in between
With only two,
Just me and you,
Not so many things we got to do
or places we got to be
We'll sit beneath the mango tree now,

Yeah It's always better when we're together
Mmmm, we're somewhere in between together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

I believe in memories
they look so, so pretty when I sleep
And now when, when I wake up,
you look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time,
There is no, no song I could sing
and there is no combination of words I could say
but I will still tell you one thing
We're better together

I love the weekend, no matter how rainy

So yes, it was a rainy weekend, and it really POURED on Friday (my first half-day of the year) but it was GREAT.

The Esplanade date was fantastic, we shared a cab with his mum there, braving the pouring rain, unfortunately we didn't get to bring the wheelchair along cos it couldn't fit into the taxi boot so it was crutches all the way for him. We both dressed up for his "first public debut". Afternoon tea at V-tea room, pricey but good service and yummilicious Bailey's teacake, we ended up walking from esplanade to citilink and back (which is bloody far and I told him tt like a few times but he refused to listen). Met up with our favourite usher at esplanade, who v kindly made arrangements for the crutches-bound tj. The concert was good too =)

This was followed by good oiishi pizza for Saturday dinner, a good sleep-in on Sunday morn, and the wine culture @ Dempsey, for more pizza, sausages, lotsa good wine (and we typically dont really like wine) and tons of good conversation.

So yes, weekends are good, and its great that we get to go out once in a while. I just hope it stops raining so I can finally send my clothes for washing.

Finally Home

TJ was discharged from hospital on Sat 6 Jan, where he went home, promptly conquered the evil steps of sennett ave, and proceeded to more fun and food and REST. He went for physio too, in fact, physio is gonna be a weekly affair, to strengthen his muscles and learn new tricks! (makes him sound like a doggy) It constantly amazes me how he can now walk with only one crutch, walk with one umbrella and also walk by himself. But of course his muscles are still weak and his bone still broken, so it hurts for him to walk and he walks funny… and I tell him not to walk with one umbrella cos it looks v ah-pek, esp if it’s not raining, but I digress.

Now tt he’s home things can finally regain some semblance of normalcy, with little adventures here and there to spice things up a little, we’re going esplanade to watch a concert this week, and to national library to watch a play next week. Let’s see how he manages to brave the crowds, the never-ending taxi queues and the indifferent Singaporeans. Just tt day we were standing at the waiting point waiting for his dad to drive the car over, many other s’poreans were sitting on benches waiting for their rides, but nobody thought to stand up to offer their seat to a young man on crutches, who obviously looked like he was having trouble walking. And these were ppl in their 30s, not old uncles and aunties who also have trouble walking.

Improving Well

Since Sunday, he’s been improving v well, now he can walk with crutches and we’ve started putting him on a wheelchair and going to the foodcourt downstairs for meals (more like he accompany me to eat), haven’t managed to make it to go for a spin as yet, as there’s a lot of ppl coming to visit him, so actually I only get to speak to him properly when I call him on the phone, but it’s all good. s’pore is a whole lot better and he’s improving so much here such that he’s gonna be discharged on Saturday! Tt’s like less than a week in hospital here! How cool is tt? So yah, if u wanna visit him, u can either do it soon, or just go to his house to visit. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind tt too, but yah, his house is a little hard to get to, my friend got hopelessly lost tt day…

He’s gonna need lots of rest as bone takes time to heal, but yeah we’re already planning fun activities to go out to watch concerts and plays and have good food too! All we need now is a wheelchair and strong arm muscles (for me, to push him arnd in the wheelchair)

His appetite now is just fantastic, and it brings me joy to tabao yummy food to share

blessings come in small doses

results of the MRI was good, no back injury though there was still some blood clots in his stomach area. hence the doc asked him to try standing up and walking. which he did, he slowly sat up, and finally stood up after a long while. he tried walking too, and succeeded, for a whole of 1 cm. not much i know, but it's still a start, and we're all thankful.


notice how skinny he is right now? :( his legs are like skinnier than mine now. but they'll get better after physio. just glad tt he's able to move abit, and since he get get out of bed, he was able to use the commode to shit in the toilet (finally). next stop: a shower!

pictorial journey

pumping air into the wheels of the stretcher so that we can wheel him to the CT scan room.

wheeling him on the road (you can see cars parked in the background) to the other building where the CT scan room is

getting ready to evacuate him, strapping him into the specialised stretcher/bed, while many ppl look on

the deerjet international SOS plane tt sent him home.

the delicate task of getting him thru the small door of the airplane

all strapped in aboard the deerjet

happy new year!

tj's back, and we're just all very very glad... singapore's healthcare system is heaven compared to china's... and for the first time, we as family members can just sit back and relax! the angle of the bed can be adjusted just by the touch of a button, and he has yummy food to eat, not to mention tt his family members can finally visit him and wish him well...

tt in itself is a very happy new year gift for me, learnt the importance of counting one's blessings...

the road to recovery for tj is still long, the xray tt he took in s'pore showed some degree of change as compared to in china, so his uncle (dr seow) ordered him to MRI cos he suspected tt there might be a previously undetected back injury. if there isn't a back injury, he'll be starting physiotherapy on wednesday... it'll be tough for him to learn to walk again since his legs are now quite weak from 3 weeks of inactivity.

spent a very nice new year's eve countdown with tj at the hospital. this is actually our first countdown tgt. but it was good, whispering for fear of disturbing the other patients and being chased out by the nurses, laughing non-stop at the antics and jokes of tj's bro (kai) and wilson. in the end i'm just so glad tt he's back =)

oh yah and if you wanna visit, here are the details: SGH block 7 level 5 (ward 75) room 12. pls sms tj to let him know you're coming so just in case he'll be away (for physio or wat not) or there are alot of ppl visiting him... well wishes also welcome!

happy 2007 everyone